What helps us through grief when dogs die?
“Death is our friend precisely because it brings us into absolute and passionate presence with all that is here, that is natural, that is love.” So wrote poet Rainer Maria Rilke in 1923.
Elsewhere in the same letter, he expanded,
“I am not saying that we should love death, but rather that we should love life so generously, without picking and choosing, that we automatically include it (life’s other half) in our love.
Early yesterday my friend messaged with the news of her dog Alfie’s death in the early hours of the morning. Annabel was in shock. The death was sudden, unexpected and fast. Just a few hours earlier, Alfie had been his usual self.
She later posted words on her social media account which brought to mind Rilke’s writings and philosophy.
“He was my big soppy dog, my handsome boy, my naughty, beardy Alfie. He was 11 and a half and he lived each moment to the full, just as dogs should do. He loved me fiercely, and took his job as my protector seriously. He made me smile or laugh every single day, and comforted me when I needed it. But mostly we just loved each other. It was as simple and as uncomplicated as that. I will miss him immensely. Thank you Alfie for being my best boy.”
Annabel’s words sum up the deep, straightforward bond which they shared. A bond which many people who love, who truly love, their dogs will recognise and have the good fortune to experience.
I read somewhere, I can’t recall where, or the exact words, but it was along the lines of, dogs know that their biggest purpose is to bring joy into the world. I would add, love. They bring so much love, and leave it behind, stored for us in great vast aquifers, when they go. In which our memories float, easing us through the sharp pain of grief and turbulent emotions. To emerge, eventually, out the other side to a calm place of acceptance and gratitude for all that we shared.
